The Book of the Excommunicate

You may be wondering what kind of a blog is titled, “The Book of the Excommunicate?” Since it sounds…provocative and perhaps evil. Well that’s what you might think on first glance if you are coming from a largely Christian society. But rest assured, this is not a blog of the occult but a blog of reason. A blog worthy to discuss ideas from the Bible as well as the Catechism of the Catholic Church from the perspective of a former Catholic and Christian.

If you are not already familiar, excommunication is the process in which a member of the Catholic Church is cut off from the Church and the ritualistic sacraments it offers. It is considered a final act meant to induce repentance in someone. Now to be clear, formal excommunications rarely happen anymore, they were typically imposed on clergy for promoting heretical doctrine or even on scientists for pushing for ideas that contradicted church teaching. Today, people can undergo automatic excommunication if they commit certain “heinous sins.” For example, procuring an abortion is a sin that results in automatic excommunication – a topic I intend to cover in another post.

Now to explain how the title of this blog fits in, I am an excommunicate for the sin of apostasy due to my transition to atheism. This transition began with me questioning Catholicism in general until I slowly began to realize I had no good reason to uphold Christianity. Then I realized I was an atheist since I was no longer convinced that a god exists or that any other religion was credible.

The last paragraph was quite a truncated summary of my deconversion experience and I hope to expand on that experience with future blog posts. But I would like to give you a brief glimpse into my earliest experience of questioning faith.

I attended Catholic schools my whole life – from kindergarten all the way through college. When I was in the first grade, my teacher had us engage in an activity during that day’s religion lesson in which we were all meant to communicate with God. All we had to do was find a quiet place and wait and listen for God to speak with us. Excitedly, all the children dispersed and found spots at their desks or in a corner and focused. I found a spot in a corner by the door to the classroom and closed my eyes and tried to listen to what God would say to me. A voice was trailing through my head but I was smart enough to know that it was only my own voice. Still, I continued patiently waiting to hear God’s voice. Minutes passed and I did not hear anything; the teacher was calling all of us back and I had nothing to present. All the children sat on a rug in the middle of the classroom, and our teacher went around and asked everyone what they heard from God. One boy said that God told him he loved him, while a girl said that God told her to be good and kind to others. When my teacher got to me and asked, “What did God tell you?” I replied nervously but honestly, “I didn’t hear anything.” Her response to me was, “Oh that’s not good.” Now this wasn’t a nervous, “uh-oh the jig is up!” type of response, her inflection indicated that I must have done something wrong if God did not speak to me. Instead of saying something reassuring she simply made a seven year-old boy feel like he was unworthy of God’s love.

If only I could put what I know now into that young brain of mine, I would have drilled my teacher with questions such as, “How are we supposed to determine that God is speaking with us? How could we demonstrate to others that God has spoken to us? Is it possible that God does not exist?” This is just one experience from my time in Catholic schools, but I believe the first seeds of doubt were planted for me at that moment nearly twenty years ago.

I do not aim to be confrontational or deny the beliefs of millions of people, but I do aim to write on my perspective on issues of religion, politics, and morals. Since I came from an upbringing where questioning religious and moral authority was discouraged, I am going to make up for it now in my adult years. The words that I use like, “excommunicate, atheist, apostate, etc.” are not meant to sound arrogant or contrarian, but rather to instill an idea among people that these are not words that people should fear. Atheist really is a neutral term, and excommunicate and apostate are words used by religious authorities to denigrate anyone who goes against what the Church deems to be right. In writing about these perspectives, I hope to get people to think differently about atheism and promote a society where atheists shouldn’t have to fear to talk about what they are thinking.

Please share your experiences with religion, whether you are formerly a believer or if you are currently a believer. I hope you will stay tuned for future posts, topics I intend to cover next are on abortion, marian apparitions, putting the 10 Commandments in the classroom, LGBTQ+ issues, and many more.