The Book of the Excommunicate

Heaven is viewed by Catholics and Christians as the ultimate reward for living a good life. Human imagination and artistic representation often depict it as a bright, cloud-filled realm with angels. Denominations hold varying beliefs about faith and good works. Nonetheless, much of what we understand about heaven comes from cultural interpretations. It lacks biblical clarity. Ancient people believed in a flat earth, which influenced how they saw heaven as being above the clouds. Scientific advancements have disproved these views. Ultimately, during my de-conversion, I concluded that if heaven exists, it may not be so desirable.

One issue I have with heaven comes from my own family history. My great-grandmother died at a young age after complications from a miscarriage in 1930. She was about 27 years old and had 3 children. My grandfather was the youngest, being 2 years old at the time of her death. My great-grandfather was devastated but ultimately moved on with his life years down the road. Then in 1937, he remarried and had two more children with his second wife. My grandfather and his siblings and half-siblings lived happily together with their parents. When my great-grandfather and step-great-grandmother died, they were buried next to each other — spending 30+ years together. So what’s the point of all this? I always thought about how tragic it was that my great-grandmother died so young. The reason she died was one of the harsh realities of being a woman in the olden days. But I always wondered how if she was in heaven, how desperately she wanted to see her loved ones again. Maybe she was wanting to see her husband again and was hoping to spend eternity with him? But wait! Maybe my great-grandfather wants to spend eternity with his second wife, who he spent more years with? How does God account for this?

In Catholicism, I was taught marriage is an earthly bond. It really only ceases when a spouse dies. Divorce and annulments are a whole different story for another day. Thus, marriage would not really have any meaning in heaven. But then what is the reward for going to heaven? Is it not to spend time with the people you want to spend time with? Does God have to create a Matrix-like situation where everyone is living in some sort of simulation of their desire? Either God has to take away people’s free will, or people can’t get everything they want in heaven. Both options demonstrate that heaven is not a perfect place.

The example of my great-grandparents is just one of many examples. An eternal reward in heaven may not play out in a desirable way, it might not even be logical. But then again, my great-grandmother may not have wanted to spend eternity with my great-grandfather. She died before him, and he died old. She may not really want to swing with an old dude. But I guess its possible when people die they go to heaven in their peak physical shape. So I guess children and babies when they die will never get to experience growing up in heaven? What kind of reward is that? Whose running the nursery then up in heaven? Its silly to think about sometimes, but it really does raise some eyebrows. For instance, someone who suffers from dementia, would they be restored to who they were before losing their memories? Would they be held accountable for any potential transgressions they committed while their brain was slowly deteriorating? I’m sure an apologist could find some way to explain it. Then again, why would anyone still want to go to heaven?

If heaven lasts for eternity, is it possible to get bored? What is there to do in heaven if it is not on Earth or some other plane in space? Play video games? Eat all you can eat? Drink and do drugs? Have all the sex you could want? Sounds great, but even some of these things you could get bored with after a few years. And if you feel unfulfilled in heaven, what other option do you have? Can you leave? Can you take a field trip to hell just to see what’s going on down there? Can you go back down to Earth with a new life? A Catholic apologist would say, “No, there is no way you could be unfulfilled in heaven.” This is because you are with Jesus. But how can Jesus be with you when he also needs to be with 100 billion other humans? Or maybe there’s only a handful of people in heaven because the rules for getting in are so unclear? Too many questions to ask and no way to get the answers.

In first grade, I was taught that heaven was like a big celebration. There would be this big party with Jesus. All the saints and everybody you love would be there, and so forth. Of course you would only get in if you were good, but who sets those rules? The rules for entry as I suggested are unclear because morality is always evolving. My critique of the rules for entry to heaven is based on Catholicism. This contrasts with Protestant positions of salvation by faith. Catholics believe you need faith. You also need good works. To be honest, this made more sense to me when I was a believer. However, what is considered good works is open to extensive interpretation.

The Bible itself is loaded with many problematic moral dogmas, especially in the Old Testament. Did the people living in the days when the Bible was first collected and transcribed have an easier time getting into heaven? By the standards of the Bible, slave-owners and rapists would get into heaven without really paying for their transgressions. Or maybe the rules for getting in are fairly laid-back and everybody is getting into heaven. Regardless, today we would universally consider slavery as immoral. Many people would view any slave-owner who enters heaven as unjust. But that’s just it. We don’t know what God really meant about many moral issues. What many people have extrapolated from the Bible is not always congruent. There are Christians who believe homosexuality is immoral. There are others who believe it is amoral, they believe God loves you regardless of sexual orientation. How do we determine who is correct? How do we decide who is incorrect? What bullet-proof methodology can we use to figure this out? My answer to this is we can’t and therefore it is useless to worry about getting into heaven. If God exists and he wants people to get into heaven, its really his problem that things are unclear.

Belief in heaven also prevents people from living their best life here on Earth. People spend a lot of time focusing on following dogmas. They isolate themselves from certain people because they believe they will be eternally rewarded for it all in the next life. This belief decreases people’s appreciation for their current time and relationships. They would value these relationships more if they did not believe in an afterlife. Without heaven, your actions on Earth gain more significance. You tend to value more what you do for other people. The idea of heaven and people’s various conceptions of it make people revel in its exclusivity. Some people are even willing to commit atrocities for a fast-pass to heaven. This is demonstrated by the fact that there are religious terrorists now and throughout history in various religions. If these people were not convinced they were going to heaven, they probably would have thought twice before committing acts of terror.

Heaven is, in my opinion as an atheist, really just a figment of human imagination. This explains why many aspects about it do not make sense. I know that some theist somewhere would say, “You just take it on faith that heaven isn’t real.” I can’t definitively rule out heaven as existing. However, the more I think about its mechanics, the less plausible it becomes. It also seems like a less desirable place. People believe in heaven mostly because of wishful thinking. A Pew research study from 2023 shows that nearly 71% of American adults believe in heaven. In contrast, 61% of adults believe in hell. A 10% difference isn’t super large. However, it suggests that a decent amount of Americans believe in a heaven but don’t believe in a hell.

Whether or not a heaven exists, there is still too much about it that we do not understand. The God of the Bible did not make it explicitly clear. Essentially, there’s nothing we can do about whether we get in or not, and if there is no heaven none of it matters anyway. Humans should focus on their time on Earth and value every second of it. Fulfillment looks different to everybody. For me, spending time outdoors is wonderful. Trying to spend time with friends and family as much as you can is valuable. Taking time for yourself is also a necessity. Wherever you are in your journey in life, stop worrying about reaching heaven. Chances are, you’re already there.